Happy 2019!!!
Happy New Year, everyone!!! Yes, I realize it’s March. But I never said that my New Year’s resolution was to stop procrastinating!
Side note before we get started: did Paris Really happen??!!! It still feels like a dream!!!
Speaking of facing procrastination, that is why I am returning to this blog!! When we were in Paris, I challenged myself to blog once a day. That doesn’t sound like a big commitment, but when you are waking up every morning before dawn and then on your feet most of the day, the last thing you sometimes want to do before bed is stare at a laptop and type. Not because I don’t enjoy writing.
I enjoy it too much.
And by that, I mean that I’m an incredible perfectionist when it comes to my creativity. So i find it hard to write a blog quickly or without stress. And unfortunately, the desire to write a “perfect” blog every time often results in no blog…and this habit has stopped me from doing what I love most: connecting with, inspiring and empowering people. But more about that in a minute.
A few weeks ago I started sharing a bit of my past via Instagram. It was basically the story of how I unexpectedly became a portrait photographer during a rather dark time in my life. I’m not really sure why I shared. I just felt it was time. and somehow, people connected to it. Somebody even told me that I was more addicting than Netflix!
I got one message after the other from my followers thanking me for sharing, and thanking me for inspiring them to move through their own adversity. Every message was beautiful…and every message touched me deeply. But one that stuck out to me was from a fellow photographer. I greatly respect this photographer and look up to her more than she knows, so to be told that she was inspired by me kind of blew my mind.
We got to talking. Some about art. But a lot about business.
All I want to do is empower women by photographing them like they’ve always dreamed and give them the experience of a lifetime!! But taking photographs is actually such a small part of running a photography business. The best part. But a surprisingly small part.
As you can imagine, it can be overwhelming running a small business where you wear countless hats. And as a creative, it’s far too easy to only want to do the creative tasks on a neverending to-do list. but In reality you have to focus on tasks that aren’t as fun or creative, but required for your business to stay afloat. If you don’t, you have a hobby…not a business.
But why, the photographer wanted to know, was I no longer blogging? After all, that’s a very creative outlet. And writing is actually one of my strengths.
I wasn’t really sure. Maybe I was afraid that nobody would ultimately read what I wrote. Maybe the people who would read it would hate what I wrote. And then there’s the whole “I have so many ideas, I don’t know which to pick. So I just pick nothing, instead” shenanigans.
These are also known as excuses.
The photographer and I agreed that we both had our own weaknesses…and we committed to pushing each other to face those things, ditch the excuses and hold each other accountable each week.
So that is why today’s blog exists. And I will start off with where I left off in my mental blog list: Thanksgiving 2018.
Make a connection
I love to travel. And because I take forever to do anything (including getting out of the house), I prefer to travel by car. But at thanksgiving I opted to fly the 1000 plus miles home in order to return to Denver a couple of days later and get back to work.
I’m not a huge fan of flying. Not because I don’t like the plane ride. Not because I don’t like the idea of getting to my destination faster. But because I don’t like being on somebody else’s schedule. On airport travel days, I tend to feel so stressed trying to finish last-minute packing…getting our dogs to the sitter…navigating through heavy traffic…waiting in line after line at the airport…rushing to catch a connecting flight. And all when I could be peacefully driving on my own schedule.
If you’ve ever/always wondered what the airport looks like at the crack of dawn on Thanksgiving morning, Your wait is over! Pun intended.
The irony of all this is that we will run and run to make a connection…only to arrive, sit around a bunch of strangers and not connect.
I ended up flying at the buttcrack of dawn on Thanksgiving day. I flew through security thanks to ClEAR, which I absolutely recommend getting (Like, yesterday). And when I arrived to the gate, I was told that I had been upgraded to first class! “I should fly more often!”, I chuckled to myself.
I was seated in the front row of the plane, which secretly made me giggle as I remembered the episode of “Friends” where Chandler and Monica try to sneak into the first class lounge. when asked to show their tickets, Chandler says that he memorized his seat (1A).
But I digress. What were we talking about…?
Right. First class.
I was seated next to a woman who I immediately started stereotyping. It’s unfortunate, but it’s so easy to do. She was in first class…so she must be a snob. Or at the very least, she would be able to sense that I didn’t really belong there…that I was upgraded, but it hadn’t made me upper class. She probably was a CEO of some big company. Maybe she had a bossy power personality and she chose the front row of the plane to have a sense of control.
I didn’t want to think these things. But I did.
A meal was served. I was attempting to look totally unimpressed, like I flew first class constantly. And that’s of course when I spilled part of my drink in my lap. And dropped some of my breakfast on the floor. And suddenly chewed twice as loudly as I normally do.
“ugh. Maybe I should have refused the upgrade. Or driven.”
Time passed. Even though it was crazy early, I couldn’t really sleep. Neither could my new snobby neighbor. At one point, she got up to go to the bathroom. I had already noticed that she was well dressed (duh…she’s a cEO, remember?). But as she returned from the bathroom, I noticed that she had some very fabulous boots on.
“Compliment her”, I told myself. But I just couldn’t. I couldn’t do it.
It’s so normal nowadays to connect to your connecting flight…connect to your phone charger…connect to snowballing anxiety about the future…yet it feels abnormal to be present and connect to the person in front of you. Or in my case, right next to me.
“I love your boots.”
Had I really said it? I don’t know where I got the courage. I was pretty sure she was going to coldly and quietly say thank you and then pretend to sleep (or anything to avoid the crazy stranger talking to her). I was sure I knew how she would react. But I said it anyway.
Time slowed down as I waited for her to respond. And when she did, I was shocked. I’m not sure why I was so shocked, but I was. She smiled an incredibly warm smile that I can still see in my mind’s eye, and said thank you in a voice I can still hear. She was grateful. And kind. and pleasant. And lovely. And…I was wrong.
Her name was Alice. She was born in Zimbabwe. She worked tremendously hard at school to earn a scholarship to attend college in the United States…an opportunity not taken for granted in her country. She was now living and working in Salt Lake City, Utah and flying East to see some of her family who also live here. And despite excelling in school and doing her job well for years, she had total indecisiveness about the field she was working in…and unclear if she was following her true passion in life.
We exchanged stories. We talked about our families. I asked her about the culture in Zimbabwe and if she missed it. I gave her the title of a couple of books that changed my life. And by the time the plane landed, she told me that our conversation was one of those rare conversations that she would never forget.
And none of that would have happened if I chose to stay silent and disconnected.
It was a risk. She could have been cold and ungrateful like my imagination had painted her to be. But if she had, it would have been more about her than me. And if she hadn’t liked my company, I would have survived and moved on. The same thing is true with my writing. Or even my photographs. I won’t be everyone’s cup of tea. But I want, more than anything, to stay connected to the people who I am for. Who appreciate and are inspired by what I put out into the world. So thank you, Alice if you’re reading this. You taught me to not judge a book by its cover that cold early day in November. And you taught me that when we have the courage to connect with one another, we welcome in the possibility to change somebody’s life forever.
Until we meet again.
What’s in store this year?
I have some very, very exciting things happening this year and cannot wait to share with all of you!!! Stay tuned for my next blog where I’ll talk a bit about what put this twinkle in my eye!!!
Something’s cookin.
