Wishful thinking

On January 5, 2018 Martin and I visited the Jardin du Luxembourg in Paris for the first time. I never knew anything about it until I saw a Vera Wang photoshoot take place there. The moment I saw it in photographs, I knew that I had to visit. And the moment I visited, I knew that I had to do a portrait session there.

I'm a huge believer in goal setting and manifestation. If you want to talk about the Law of Attraction with me, pull up a chair...we will be there a WHILE. I stood between the iconic trees that crisp January afternoon and set my intention, in writing. I posted the intention on my Instagram to hold myself accountable, although I doubt that anybody has kept track. I really did it for me...to put a dream that felt uncomfortably big in writing.

Why did it seem too big? To French people, it's probably "just another park". So I'm not sure why. The fact that I was even IN Paris this past January seemed like a miracle. But to return to photograph a client in the same year??? It seemed like a stretch. It seemed like wishful, childish thinking. It seemed like I needed to get my head out of the clouds and back to reality.

On September 3, 2018...241 days later...my intention became my reality.

Getting ready for the ball

Every Portrait session outfit that Maggie has worn in Paris was purchased by me (with the exception of her clothes on the day we went to Chinatown), always with the intention to build my wardrobe for future clients. Every outfit has been handled carefully, as it will be dry cleaned (organic only!) and stored safely for future portrait sessions upon my return to Denver. So when I chose the outfits, I chose very carefully.

I thought that I had every outfit that I wanted...then one day I stumbled upon a beautiful blue tulle dress. I considered it...went back and forth...and by the time I saw Maggie that particular week for a fitting, I was still undecided. I showed her a photograph and she said, "Oh nice! Very Cinderella."

Um. That was enough for this Disney boy.

I ordered the dress just in time. It was custom made and arrived about two days before I boarded the plane to Paris. And while it came with lots of sparkles, I obviously added some Swarovski crystals ;)

Obviously Cinderella needs glass slippers, too. I have NEVER been so tempted to take the tissue paper out of my Jimmy Choo Cinderella shoes that I have on display, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. That's right...NOT EVEN FOR PARIS. But I needed an alternative. My go to for photography wardrobe and accessories is Etsy. Etsy has essentially changed my life. If I knew how to make something that could be sold on Etsy, I swear that I would have a store there. But I digress.

The shoes that I found on Etsy were obviously not Jimmy Choo, but they WERE covered in Swarovski crystals. That is, they would be once they were made. The shoes are made to order and I had to pay extra to get them rushed. They also arrived JUST in time! And luckily, both the dress and the shoes made it safely to Paris.

That morning as Maggie stepped into the dress, and as I laced the back of the dress up...I don't know...I was just in awe. Not just because she looked out of this world stunning...but because my dream was minutes away from coming true.

Playing by the rules

As I mentioned in a previous blog, I had debated about taking a chance and just arriving to the Jardin du Luxembourg, then taking photographs until somebody stopped us. That is what many photographers did when I asked them how they went about things for their Jardin photoshoot. One photographer told me that she would rather ask for forgiveness than permission.

I guess that would work for some people. Just not for me. I didn't want to put a tremendous amount of planning and money into a portrait session...and to raise my client's hopes...only to be kicked out and have my relationship with the Jardin tarnished. It just didn't feel right. So as you probably know by now, we successfully obtained a permit! It was 65 Euro for the day...and as we were about to find out, worth every penny. Or...well, you know what I mean.

We walked through the entrance of the Jardin and started looking for the office that I was instructed to report to before the portrait session began. I don't think we had been on the property more than three minutes when a very official looking man started approaching us. The closer he got, the more I could see his eyes darting back and forth between Maggie's long dress, my camera and Martin's bag of things I potentially needed during the shoot.

"Hello. Do you have an authorization to be doing zis?"

Time slowed down. And I felt so incredibly, wonderfully grateful for being paranoid and playing by the rules.

"Yes!"

"Please show me."

I pulled out my phone...showed him my official email...and then his tone completely changed. He led us to his office and as we followed closely behind, I was able to exhale. And smile.

Magical Trees

I don't know what it is about the trees at the Luxembourg Gardens, but they are just pure magic. I believe that they are Cypress trees, but I really don't know. They are planted in perfect rows and trimmed in a squarish shape. It's a very similar magical feeling to standing at the end of the Cypress Tree Tunnel in California, where I did a portrait session this past April.

The Cypress Tree tunnel earlier this year...also magical.

I started doing test shots of the trees to see what the light was like. Then I asked Maggie to step in the middle of the trees. I took the first frame...and in that very moment, my intention was no longer just an intention. It was happening.

Jardin of dreams

The portrait session that day was magical. Like, I still cannot believe that it happened magical. At one point, a jogger ran by...stopped...and in French excitedly said, "Oh my! It's Cinderella!". Yes, yes it was.

Maggie honestly looked like she could have been part of the Vera Wang photoshoot that inspired me to be standing there that day in the first place. And that's my goal. That is the brand I've created. I want women...all women...to have access to the mysterious and glamorous world they see in fashion magazines. I want women who don't know how beautiful or powerful they are to finally be "that girl" in the magazine. I want that for every client. And on Monday, Maggie was just as stunning as a Vera Wang model. even more so.

The entire morning is a blur because I couldn't believe it was actually happening. It felt like I was dreaming. And I will let you in on a little secret. It will be between you, me and the entire internet. But nobody else, ok?

I edited one image from the Jardin. It hasn't been fully retouched and will not be posted until it is complete. But...it is jaw-dropping.

I know that that sounds arrogant. I'm fine if you think so. But really, the art I create just comes through me. I feel like I am a vessel between the creative force in the Universe and my client. When I look at the partially edited image, I kind of cannot believe that I got to be a part of its creation...that I was even able to be there in person to experience such beauty. Of course the way it usually works is that my all of my follower's favorite image is usually different than mine, but I already know that I will print this particular image...mat it...and frame it. I will always gaze at it and remember to dream much bigger than I feel I deserve...because sometimes even the biggest, craziest dreams actually come true.

I know that mine did that day. And I hope that yours will, too.

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”

— Wayne Gretzky

Beehave yourself

I did not want the portrait session at the jardin to end. In a very weird way, it can be devastating when your dreams actually come true because in a blink of an eye, it's over. You can spend YEARS waiting for something to manifest...finally have the moment you've always dreamed of...and in seconds it is a thing of the past.

I believe that that's why it's important...vital...to balance dreaming about things and setting intentions, with complete gratitude for what you already have. Because the truth is, even the most amazing dream in your life coming true will be one day out of your life. It will come...then it will go...and you will need to keep moving forward. If you put way too much focus on that one thing, when you finally get it you will celebrate...a little time will pass...and then you'll be left saying, "so....now what???"

What I've learned from this and so many other experiences is that goal setting really isn't about the end goal in the big picture; it's about who you have to grow into to manifest your dreams into reality. If you want to shoot high, do it! Please do it! But be ready to grow a lot. Be ready to push yourself and to be scared and to fight off wanting to give up. Be ready to be more uncomfortable than you've ever been and tested harder than you've ever been tested. Be ready for everything...but especially be ready to grow. That is the real gift...the prize...you will get once you achieve your dreams.

And speaking of dreams, At the completion of the long-awaited portrait session, I had a new dream: Food.

We went back to the American-owned restaurant near the Jardin and decided to sit outside. We usually opt to sit inside because french restaurants/cafes are usually a cloud of smoke if you sit outside. But this particular restaurant seemed to have no smoking allowed, so we thought it would be a delight to celebrate our hard work with some fresh air as we dined.

Mistake.

I don't know what it was about just our table, but the Parisian bees would NOT leave us alone!!!! IT started off as a joke, but by the end I was actually losing my mind. We quickly finished our meal and asked for the check so that we could escape the bees. Our server was nearly shocked when we said we were leaving without cake (think back to the blog involving cake...no...no...keep going...yes, the one where we had three cakes. There you go.), so she brought us some on the house. Classy!!!! :)

Louvre

I was convinced by Maggie to only schedule the JArdin portrait session for Monday and absolutely nothing else, since it was so important to me. And I'm grateful that she talked me into it! With more portrait sessions ahead of us, it was nice to finally take a breath and ask everyone what they'd like to do around Paris. Maggie said that she wanted to visit the Louvre, so that's where we decided to go.

Tip: Buy your Louvre tickets online and you skip the line!

I do not consider myself a museum person. Or at least, I haven't for most of my life, so far. But visiting the V&A Museum in London changed that for me...and so did the Louvre.

To be honest, I pretty much just wanted to see the Mona Lisa and move on with my life. But as we searched for Mona, we saw painting after painting after painting...and I just became transfixed. The art displayed at the Louvre is just too beautiful to describe in words. Please check it out.

We wandered and wandered and couldn't find old Mona. At one point we came across a window with a plain gray wall. Although I'm a portrait photographer, not a headshot photographer (don't get me started on why they are different) I do often throw in a few headshots when somebody hires me to take their portraits. Many people don't want them because they'd rather fill their Folio Box with matted images of themselves looking like a Vogue model. But I will do them...and I knew that Maggie wanted an updated headshot. As I saw the window, I summoned Maggie over and said, "welcome to my studio."

Mona Lisa

After we did Maggie's headshots and wandered a bit more, time started getting away from us. I finally went up to a museum employee for help. She told us that we were in the wrong building (great) and showed us on a map where to go. The moment she brought out the map, I think I astral projected. Luckily Martin and Maggie listened and we started briskly walking to the other building.

What I was told to expect about the mona Lisa was this: it will be way, way smaller than you've imagined your whole life...and there will be a million people crowding around it taking photos. So yeah...I was expecting it to be the size of a deck of cards.

EH. WRONG.

It is a normal sized painting...whatever the hell that means. But it's really not that small. The painting is on a wall by itself, so perhaps it looks small because of that. The most common size of wall art I sell in my business is 16x24. It seems huge to people who think an 8x10 is large, but when you put a 16x24 on a wall by itself, it can actually look small. I think that's why people say it's smaller than you would imagine, although I don't know how big it is.

There were, however a million people. Being a good photographer, I pushed my way through the crowd to the front and took a few selfies with Ms. Lisa. Did I take a photograph with my professional equipment after waiting 35 years to travel to Paris to see her in person? Ha! Don't be ridiculous...that would make too much sense. Instead, here is an iphone picture.

Just as I was about to walk out of the room, I took a moment to just gaze at her. I wanted to be present...to take the moment in. It's so odd to see and hear about a piece of artwork your whole life, but never visit it in person. I inhaled deeply, felt my heart fill with gratitude, then exhaled as I said farewell for now.

Cheesecake

This blog is getting long, so I'm going to cut to the chase: We left the Louvre...ate dinner...and I have now officially found the best cheesecake, not in Paris, but the world. No, no...it's not in NYC...it is here. Just go here and you will thank me. You are so welcome.

Moving out

Monday into Tuesday involved lots of laundry and packing. We took Maggie to see the Eiffel Tower light up at night...went to bed...slept late...then finished packing. We were sad to leave our AirBnb. It truly became our home during our week in Paris. I would stay there again in a heartbeat.

I ended up throwing out the wig heads that had taken up a huge amount of space in my suitcase on the way here. Instead, I put the wigs that I brought carefully into their hair nets to protect the carefully sculpted styles and placed them gently into my suitcase. I also washed every outfit that wouldn't need to be dry cleaned and promised myself that I'd unpack as little as possible in the new place.

It took two Ubers to collect all of our bags (and us!), and before we knew it we were on our way to what is basically Versailles.

Palace in Paris

The reason we moved for the last part of our trip was that I needed an indoor location that basically would look like a modern day Versailles. And the moment we stepped inside, my eyes blissfully turned into Swarovski crystal pinwheels. And I now officially need a bigger chandelier for my office. No, I am not joking.

We checked in, then literally walked just down the street to the Trocadero! Seeing the same location at night where Maggie's first portrait session took place at sunrise was a bit surreal. For starters, it's a million times more crowded at night. But it was also surreal to have that portrait session...and so many others...officially behind us. It really started to sink in that our journey was coming to an end.

The sun will come out tomorrow

Now you have that stuck in your head and you are so very welcome. Anyway...

We are hoping that the sun will actually shine tomorrow. We are doing a sunrise shoot at the old Sock Lay Blur, then returning here in time for the hair and makeup artist's arrival. We are then doing Maggie's final portrait session, taken indoors. Fingers crossed that the overcast sky actually shines enough light through the windows because I have no studio lights with me.

I also may be getting no sleep. So please send coffee. And Panera.

When you wish upon a star... | Denver Portrait Photographer